From spring to summer in 2009, I made compote or jam every week. I started making my own for two reasons; store-bought jam is too sweet for my taste and buying from shops means more empty jars to recycle. Although 90% of my production was consumed by my husband, I still enjoyed the process of turning fresh fruit into something a bit more lasting.
My new mutant name was announced when I started talking about making fruit leather, homemade oil sardines and smoked bacon.
"If you were a Sesame Street character, " said my husband, "you would be called Preserve."
Cookie Monster: Ohhh! Cookies!!! Yum yum yum yum...
Preserve: Wait, you blue fluffy thing, let me preserve them first.
Elmo: Lalala...lalala...What are you doing, Preserve?
Preserve: I'm preserving your goldfish. You'll be able to be with him as long as you live.
Elmo: ....(fainted)
Big Bird: Have you seen Snuffy?
Preserve: He's over there. I've preserved him.
Big Bird: Are you saying you've stuffed my best friend!?
Preserve: No, I mummified him.
The Count: One bat, hahahahaha! Two bats, hahahahaha!
Preserve: So they say you are a vampire.
The Count: Me? No, I am the Count.
Preserve: And you are a vampire.
The Count: Um....I suppose I am.
Preserve: So you're dead.
The Count: Well...
Preserve: You don't need to be preserved then.
I think Preserve belongs to the Simpsons rather than Sesame Street.
This reminds me of The Landlady, a short story by Roald Dahl.
I can't and will never be able to understand what is so good about stuffed animals. I'm not a big fan of preserved flowers either. Unlike preserved food, they seem pointless to me.
The obvious difference; preserved animals or flowers are there just to get dusty.
But when it comes to food, time improves its quality; pickled, marinated or cured.
